Letter # 25

Dear Patron,

I hope you had a really good reason for stealing our laptop. Maybe you had homework that needed doing. Perhaps you had an eBay item that you just had to bid on within a certain time limit. Maybe your FarmVille crops needed harvesting.  I am not sure, but I hope that having felony charges filed against you was worth it.

What were you thinking!,

Ripsy

Letter # 24

Dear Female patron,

Please keep your private conversations to yourself. None of the employees really want to hear you discuss how you were "hit on by a girl" in detail.

Sincerely wondering why,

Ripsy

letter # 23

Dear Patron,

Yes, we carry books here. This is the *Library*. Where did you think you were?

Sincerely,

Ripsy

Letter # 22

Dear Patron,

If we don't make fun of you, who will? No, really, someone needs to. Uttering the words "I'm going to weave a magic spell & cast a curse on you." while racing to the door with your friends automatically puts you in my "you're a weirdo" category, not that you weren't already in it.

So if you wonder if we're laughing at you. yes, yes we are or at least I am.


amused,

Ripsy

Letter # 21

Dear Patron,

 I'll keep it brief.  Please do not speak to me while outside the library unless I have first acknowledged or spoken to you. We're not friends. I'm kind to you only because I'm paid to be. No other reason. After work or while on my break time I'm allowed to ignore you. I am under no obligation to carry on a conversation with you.

Silent & ignoring you & hoping you'll get the picture,

Ripsy

Letter 21

Dear Patron,

No, Moron, I will not watch your dirty nasty belongings. I will not keep them in the lost and found while you gallivant all over the city. It's your stuff, you watch it. I do not want flies crawling all over my back room. I do not want to trip over bags of things one wishes one had never seen. I do not want to take care of them and be responsible for them I do not get paid enough to do that for you. Sorry.

I'm sorry you feel that I'm not more humanitarian... get over it. 

cranky in the city,

Ripsy

Letter # 20

Dear Patron,

It has never ceased to amaze me the things that you will wear in public. Items ranging from fat baring t-shirts to the short shorts which also expose a bit of crack. Is there a particular reason you decide that these outfits are acceptable for public display? Did your mother tell you that your muffin top was attractive and you should show it to everyone you meet?

I often want to take pictures, print them and hand them to you just so you'll know how others see you. Not that it would dissuade you from making these choices, but perhaps it would give you an image of yourself that will forever be burned into your retinas.

I would also like to know when onesies became something adults wear.  Is this a new fad that I was not aware of? Are you showing your hunting prowess by wearing one in camouflage? Are you trying to avoid having to tuck in your shirt, wear a belt, don suspenders? Why wear a onesie? One thing for sure this does not in any way make your more attractive to "smart" ladies. It does however make you look like an idiot. However, it also makes me laugh, shake my head and wonder, but laugh none the less.

That being said - please look in the mirror before you leave home. If you're showing
a) too much skin
b) crack of any hinder parts
c) rolls
d) or are wearing just an overall hideous outfit.
Please go home and change. We'd really like to show that people with some class frequent our establishment.


Much criticisms,

Ripsy