Letter # 17

Dear Child Patron,

                    While I realize that it is cruelty to cut off your only source of fun by blocking your card from internet usage, I also realize that it's unmitigated stupidity to let you continue to use a card when you've shown no responsibility to return items you know are late thus incurring hefty fines that I know you yourself cannot pay. You can obviously bring yourself to the library so now it's time to learn about being a grown up. Grown ups have to pay fines and return books. If they don't, then guess what, their privileges get cut off.  It happens. Deal with it. Learn responsibility the hard way. c'est la vie.

Oh and by the way, talking to one of my co-workers and expecting a different response. Yeah, not gonna happen. Sorry.

Hope you've learned,

Ripsy

Letter # 16

Dear Patron,

                  Yes, I am super impressed that you're in the process of writing a book. What was that? You haven't started yet you're just thinking about it. Oh. How interesting. It's about Pontius Pilate: vampire? Really? Hrm. Well, that should be an educational subject.  I'm sure it's fascinating.  Now please, go tell that guy over there your theory. He looks like the type to read that sort of genre and he might be able to discuss in detail some ideas with you. 


           
Have fun,

Ripsy

P.S. Once you have your manuscript done, bring it in as proof, then I'll believe you can "write" a book.

A Letter from the Ref Desk #4

Dear Patron,

We have no fewer than 5 different items with the title of "Rose". No, the qualifier of "really thick" does not help me narrow it down!

Please come and see us again when you have more information,

Your Local Library Specialist

Letter # 15

Dear Patron,

                  It's called a library, not a liberry. If we were serving berries here then maybe I'd understand the whole mispronunciation, but at this point I really just think you're too stupid to say it properly. That was mean, yes. I'd apologize, but I'm not sorry.  Please remember that the library is a place to educate yourself. When you leave you should have learned something... even linguistics. Mmm'kay?

Alright, now that you've been told the next time you come up to the desk and ask for a liberry card I'm going to tell you that you can get one at the gas station across the street.


You're welcome,

Ripsy