Letter 28

Dear Patron,

I understand that you are upset, what I do not understand is why.  Why is it such a shock to know that people carry on conversations in the library? Why does it surprise you that the noise level is not at a zero. People talk here! In fact YOU are talking right now. Loudly. In front of other patrons.  So, when you come up with a legitimate complaint, like say, yelling in the library, let me know.  I'll give you a little card to fill out.

AND HAVE A NICE DAY!


Ripsy

letter 27

Dear  Green Alien Patron,


I'm really happy that you came up to the desk and told me your alien name, that you were an alien, and that you were here to study my planet!! I loved the robotic *alien* voice. Quite the touch. 
Yes, I am an earthling. Thank you for asking. Three times. As far as I could tell it was obvious that I am not from another planet.

Anyway, that made my evening.

From Earth not just stranded here,

Ripsy

Letter # 26

Dear parent patron,

Your child, whom you are yelling at, is actually behaving better than you ever have. You're such a shining example of how people should never act in public. Please cease and desist any and all parenting.

You've failed,

Ripsy

Letter # 25

Dear Patron,

I hope you had a really good reason for stealing our laptop. Maybe you had homework that needed doing. Perhaps you had an eBay item that you just had to bid on within a certain time limit. Maybe your FarmVille crops needed harvesting.  I am not sure, but I hope that having felony charges filed against you was worth it.

What were you thinking!,

Ripsy

Letter # 24

Dear Female patron,

Please keep your private conversations to yourself. None of the employees really want to hear you discuss how you were "hit on by a girl" in detail.

Sincerely wondering why,

Ripsy

letter # 23

Dear Patron,

Yes, we carry books here. This is the *Library*. Where did you think you were?

Sincerely,

Ripsy

Letter # 22

Dear Patron,

If we don't make fun of you, who will? No, really, someone needs to. Uttering the words "I'm going to weave a magic spell & cast a curse on you." while racing to the door with your friends automatically puts you in my "you're a weirdo" category, not that you weren't already in it.

So if you wonder if we're laughing at you. yes, yes we are or at least I am.


amused,

Ripsy

Letter # 21

Dear Patron,

 I'll keep it brief.  Please do not speak to me while outside the library unless I have first acknowledged or spoken to you. We're not friends. I'm kind to you only because I'm paid to be. No other reason. After work or while on my break time I'm allowed to ignore you. I am under no obligation to carry on a conversation with you.

Silent & ignoring you & hoping you'll get the picture,

Ripsy