letter # 10

Dear Patron,

Little do you know how much I overhear. When you sit at the other side of my partition and you speak to your friends about various life problems, I listen. Do I want to? No, not particularly.  Not by a long shot. In fact I'd prefer not to be privy to the details of your sex life, your dating life, your various relationship problems. That being said here are my few bits of advice.

#1. if you think s/he has gonorrhea it's probably a good bet you shouldn't sleep with her/him
#2. if you dated them last year and they weren't very nice. it's probably a good bet you shouldn't date them now
#3. if you were thinking that position 214 in the Kama Sutra was a good thing to discuss at the library, out loud, while going into great detail. Well. you'd be wrong.
#4. dating the person your ex just broke up with is also not a good idea.
and finally please keep up --
#5. when you announce to your friends that you have an STD and then proceed to ask me out on a date... it's a guarantee I will say NO. just saying.

I hope you will keep all this in mind the next time you want to discuss something of such a personal matter. I'll thank you for not scarring my ears the next time you're in.


Most assuredly not yours,

Ripsy